Lilotchka: Archive

Stupid Reasons I Have Not Unfriended People

Our one mutual friend would totally notice/care
But he might be able to get me Bjork tickets
I’ll know somebody if I ever visit Taiwan
She is friends with famous people
He was a really good source on that story I wrote five years ago
If I unfriend her, she will not know that I finally developed a fashion sense
Our moms are really good friends
She works at a publication I want to write for someday
He doesn’t have Twitter
He has two profiles and I don’t want to accidentally unfriend the wrong one
You never know who would miss cyber-stalking you

Apr 30, 20119 notes

“

Today, before Administrative Professionals’ Day is too far in the rear-view window, take a minute to tell the admins at your company how much you appreciate the work they do all year round, not just on one day. While flowers and candy are nice, acknowledgment and appreciation are even better.

And you might also notice that your phone calls always get precedence when there are lots of people on hold.

” —Happy Day After Administrative Professionals’ Day!

“They’re like ‘I want X job’ which they are severely unqualified for and I say, ‘Okay, well you won’t be able to get that job unless you know someone. Do you know someone?’ No, they don’t. So then I’m like, ‘Be an agent’s assistant — you’ll meet people,’ and they’re all like ‘I dunno, not for me,’ and I’m like ‘SHAVE YOUR FACE AND GET A FUCKING JOB.’ Not really, obviously. But inside, inside I say that.” —

Me, on the frustration of dealing with alumni from my school at an event last week. Sending students out into the world with unrealistic expectations seems to be my alma mater’s specialty. (via deliberatepace)

Sadly, it seems to be every alma mater’s specialty. Too many colleges feel the need to sell you on the ridiculous amount of tuition by telling you that college degree = instant success following graduation. Sadly, that is almost never the case. But “Once you have this degree, spend a couple years as an assistant, make some contacts, and bust your ass you’ll have your dream job” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Play

“Deaf people marry deaf more than any other minority. I think that’s very significant. It just shows you how inept the concept of disability is for these people, because people who are blind as a rule do not want to marry other blind people. People in wheelchairs do not seek other people in wheelchairs. I mean, there may be individuals who do, but as a cultural norm, it tells you that something is up here. And what’s up is the value placed on being deaf.” —Harlan Lane

Apr 18, 2011

Female Writers in Late Night by the Numbers

statette:

NOTES:

1) The host doubles as a writer on each of these shows but we did not include them in the counts.
2) Although Jimmy Kimmel only has one female writer, she is a co-head writer. None of the other shows hosted by men have female head writers.
3) Craig Ferguson’s only female writer is his sister.

Apr 18, 20114 notes

Happy Friday! Newest Addition to the Crushable Team

b5media:

Aw! Ginger, Crushable’s little new puppy, being so cute around the office!

It’s really cruel to expect me to get any work done when this bundle of adorable is prancing around the office.

Apr 15, 20117 notes

All Flowers In Time Bend Towards The Sun Jeff Buckley & Elizabeth Fraser

jeffbuckleyforever:

Jeff Buckley & Elizabeth Fraser, All Flowers In Time Bend Towards The Sun

Apr 14, 201158 notes

“Here’s the thing, Gwynnie. Perfectionism means that you want everything to be perfect. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sure, if that perfectionism paralyzes you and makes you unable to do anything out of fear that you’ll make a mistake, I’d buy your argument. But considering you still manage to star in movies and write GOOP and get six-figure record deals and find time in your schedule to give sanctimonious interviews in which you claim to be a normal working mother who just so happens to have a staff of ten attending to your every need, I don’t think perfectionism is your problem. You probably have an assistant whose sole responsibility is to think all your negative thoughts for you so that you can devote your own luxury brain cells to bunny rabbits and juice cleanses.” —Time to go see if STFU Gwyneth Paltrow dot tumblr dot com is taken already.

Apr 13, 20115 notes

Play

Apr 8, 2011961,158 notes

“When all the women in my church group left me out of the important discussion about whether we were going to have chicken salad or tuna salad at the picnic, did I win their hearts by telling them they were being mean to me because I was too pretty? Even if that might have actually been the case? No. No I did not. I grinned and wore my best not-too-showy dress and got my hands dirty and went to work. I tore the best looking chicken pieces you’ve ever seen and made mayonnaise from scratch. Even Eleanor DuVall couldn’t find a problem with my chicken salad. You see? I did it by becoming one of them, not by saying they hated me for being better than them. You win by actually winning, not by announcing you’ve won.” —In which I channel my grandmother and yell at January Jones in a very dignified way

Apr 8, 2011

Apr 8, 2011109 notes

Apr 7, 20119 notes

“A poem by Rilke is as real and important as a man falling out of an airplane. Tide once told me that a girlfriend once said after the death of her husband, “G-d has moved me up into a more advanced class; the desks are still a little too big for me.” —Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: The Diaries

Apr 5, 2011

Apr 5, 201116 notes

Feb 28, 201124 notes

“He possessed the six attributes of the adventurer - a memory for names and faces, with the aptitude of altering his own; the gift of tongues; inexhaustible invention; secrecy; the talent for falling into conversation with strangers; and that freedom from conscience that springs from the contempt for the dozing rich he preyed upon.” —Thornton Wilder, The Bridge of San Luis Rey

Feb 27, 201139 notes

Feb 26, 2011130 notes

“I don’t think I would have worked with anybody but Paul Simon,” Walcott says. ”Before I met him, I always thought he was a very fine poet. I mean, the first line of ‘Graceland’ is a great line of verse: ‘The Mississippi Delta was shining like a National guitar/ I am following the river down a highway through the cradle of the Civil War.’ That’s Whitmanesque, or even Hart Crane. What I also like very much is how Jewish his writing is: it’s ethnically very provincial, deliberate. In other words, here’s someone who has never lost his identity totally. He can go to South Africa, or to the Caribbean, and he remains a Jewish singer.” —I’m Going to Graceland

Feb 26, 20113 notes

Feb 26, 2011511 notes

“I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I’m done … you don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun. I’m gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!” —Charlie Sheen needs a blog

Feb 25, 20115 notes

Lilotchka

April 2011

20 posts

March 2011

24 posts

February 2011

26 posts